Time for another fun E-mail!
all fairness to pupils throughout the land, I must point out that slaughtering the English language is a practice that is not limited only to students. An astonishing number of grownups blithely go about murdering the King's English without any inkling that they are committing a serious crime.
If you think that today's students aren't learning all they should, check out some of the writing miscreated by their moms and dads. the following are actual excuse notes received by teachers.
"My son is under the doctor's care and should not take P.E. today," wrote a parent. "Please execute him."
"Please excuse Mary for being absent," wrote another parent. "She was sick and I had her shot."
These drastic measures were inadvertently taken in notes written by parents to excuse their children's absences from school.
Dear School: Please eckuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
Pleazse excuse Roland from P.E. for a few day. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.
Mary could not come to school because she has been bothered by very close veins.
Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
Please excuse Tom for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
Irving was absent this morning because he missed his bust.
Please excuse Harriet for missing school yesterday. We forget to get the Sunday paper off the porch. and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
Please excuse my son's tardiness. I forgot to wake him up and I did not find him till I started making the beds.
Please excuse Mary from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
Please excuse Burma, she had been sick and under the doctor.